Lost in a Masquerade
Old people like me will probably recognize "lost in a masquerade" as a phrase from a song written by Leon Russell but made famous by George Benson.
It's about how people put on masks and pretend to be different than we are. I've got this on my mind because today my doctoral chair suggested that I have "imposter syndrome." If you've never heard of it, it refers to the fear that some people have that they are not really as smart, capable, talented, or whatever as other people think they are, and that they are going to be "found out" eventually. In other words, they feel that they are imposters who somehow got lucky rather than people who really DO belong in whatever group they have found themselves in. In my case, the chair said, "You think you don't have the chops, but you do."
The image below is borrowed from thisismykea.com.
It's not an unusual syndrome, apparently; about 70% of successful people have got the hang-up. Maybe you're one of those people. If so, we have to get a handle on it, and there are tips on how to do that. One of the tips is to Own Your Successes. When you do something right, claim it --- don't give everybody else but yourself the credit for it. It's not like you have to brag about it, but acknowledge it at the very least to yourself!
It's a place to start, anyway. So... I've started doing it. It's easier to start one on one with someone who loves me. This weekend, I asked, "Guess what?" and told him about how a magazine had approved my proposal to interview undiscovered Southern female artists. It was a good, healthy conversation about a meaningful step for me.
You can read more about Imposter Syndrome here:
What was your most recent success, big or small? With whom have you shared the good news?
The second tip to address your inner imposter is to stop comparing yourself to other people. Yes, there are people who are better at X than you. You are better at Y than they are. We need all kinds of people with all kinds of talent and skills; see where you fit in with your strengths.
With whom have you been comparing yourself? Why not look closely at all that you bring to the table and know that you can keep adding to that wealth of identity you're building up instead of tearing it down. You're not an imposter; don't be a thief of your own power. Let's take these masks off and allow ourselves to be fully recognized at the party.
Blessings...
Tamara
